I was perched atop the safety rail along the roof level of the parking garage. I was debating the merits of simply shifting my weight, ever so slightly, until I peacefully tumbled downward. But, due to my intense acrophobia waking up from its adrenaline induced slumber, I was frozen in place. I didn’t think I’d been spotted yet, but I wasn’t sure.
I suppose I could always claim that I just wanted to enjoy the view. That I wasn’t the least bit afraid of heights and that this was the best spot in the area to get a full aerial view. I seriously doubt this would be believable, but I’ve always held the secret conviction of a politician when it comes to lies. Repeat it often, with sincerity, no matter what contradictory evidence exists.
When confronted with said evidence, refer to my previous denials as if they were physical evidence of equal weight. “As I said previously, it was the best place in town to acquire such a view of unrequited beauty. I stand by that statement…”
Still, I didn’t think this was the way to go. I don’t think I’m much of a looker, but virtually no one looks better splattered on the ground. No open casket. I like to be as considerate as possible, considering I can control how I die.
No, I wouldn’t slide off the railing to my not-so-beautiful demise. Now, all I have to figure out is how to get off of this rail, unseen and safely.